Desperate Putz For Hire!

Good evening folks, Sketch reporting here and this post is pretty simple, in fact I can sum it up in one sentence.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL SOMEONE FUCKING HIRE ME?!?!

I'd end it there but that's pretty vague. Basically the job I have has went from suck to being on the borderland of desperation where knocking over a bank doesn't sound like a half bad idea. (I'm probably already on a watch list for Googling it several times for movie research. Sorry, "movie research.") I've been looking and looking and trying to offer my services out there for those interested so I'm using this as an option to because in New Hampshire, where I live, the things I'm offering don't really have such a high demand as I live in what could readily be described as the backwoods of Bumblefuck. Which is not to be confused with the next J.K. Rowling book, "Harry Potter and the Backwoods of Bumblefuck."
So in an effort to help expand I'm putting this up so hopefully I may get some scratch and not resort to chronic alcoholism. By the way, where is the mentality come from that all poor people drink? I don't drink because I'm poor, they're just alcoholics and happen to go broke after the fact 'cause drinking is an expensive habit. All I'm saying.

Pictures and examples of my work after the jump. Please contact at tsu.nothing@gmail.com

SERVICES OFFERED
Graphic Design
Video Editing
Visual Effects
Motion Graphics
Retail Work
General Lackey

EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Graduated Exeter High School in 2006
Graduated Seacoast School of Technology in 2006 with a certificate in Automotive

PROGRAMS/COMPUTER EXPERIENCE
4 years in Adobe Photoshop (have CS5 and a Wacom Graphire4 drawing tablet)
3 years in Adobe After Effects (have CS5)
1.5 years in Adobe Premiere (have CS5) and recently exploring 3D programs
Sparse knowledge of HTML code (very sparse) with room to learn and improve

PREVIOUS WORK HISTORY
SellMyTimeshareNow.com as a janitor for the summer, had to leave because of school
Spencer Gifts (yes, that store) as a sales associate/clerk from August/September 2006 to January 2009
Presently employed (barely) at Cumberland Farms as a sales associate/clerk/corporate monkey since July 2008

SPECIAL SKILLS
Colorful, caring and witty personality
Makes a mean chicken fried steak
Works well with others and maintains a professional environment
Takes very good pictures and has a fetish for widescreen

LINKS

deviantArt
MySpace
YouTube
Zazzle

Must Have Add-Ons For Firefox

As this is the browsers I use as a lot of folk do (because Internet Explorer is more infectious than a Vietnamese prostitute, and apologies if any Microsoft people or Vietnamese prostitutes were offended by that remark) I wanted to list off some of the add-ons I use that are either helpful to a degree for the average Interweb user.

Web Of Trust - Protects the user by letting them know if the site they're visiting is kosher or has a bad rap for screwing you or your computer as rated by other users. Quite helpful, not so much looking at porn galleries but better safe than sorry.

No Script - Like WOT prevents unwanted scripts from being used, mostly saves time on loading unnecessary bullshit like ads on the side. Somewhat if there's someone on MySpace who has a bunch of third party crap all over it. On a side note, isn't Facebook now the fancy new space station-like mall and MySpace is the really downtrodden ghetto mall where there are cats standing out in front desperate for "friends?"

StumbleUpon - This one is iffy for others to say its needed however it's a great time killer. Simply the add-on is this: you press the "Stumble!" button and it takes you anywhere on the web tailored to your liking. And more often than not after hitting the button you think, "That was cool." It also has a StumbleThrough feature so you can find random pages through YouTube, Wikipedia, The Onion, Ghetto Ma -- I mean, MySpace; Blogspot (Thanks fellow stumblers!) and many other sites.

Cool Previews - Good if you don't wanna commit to fully opening a link either because your lazy or suspicious about it. Hover a link, click the button that appears next to it and it will preview that link in a small window inside your current tab without ever leaving the page you're on. It's neat.

Torrent Finder - Quick search bar that goes through every torrent site imaginable looking for the torrent you want to find. Although it is recommended that you should probably get something like WOT or No Script to be safe prior to getting this as there are a plentiful of torrent sites that are a wading pool of bad.

Additionally, it's not quite so much an add on as it is a feature already on the normal Firefox however can be extended. The Google search bar in the corner can also search through various sites like YouTube and Wiki and beyond the ones already listed in the drop down you can add more sites to search through such as IMDb and Dictionary.com.

Poem: This Is A Dedication

To all our fallen friends who got lost along the way.
To the ones who couldn't see past the wall, saw only the wall, not have the thought to climb over the wall.
To the ones we tried to help as they slowly hurt themselves by something they thought was real.
To the gold digger, the pan handler, the graduate, the drop out, the content and disgruntled.
To the ones who wanted change as things stayed the same.
To the ones who chose to sleep instead of dream and never truly awaken.
To the ones who always spend time looking back instead of forward.
To the ones who wanted to help so bad they didn't see their own problems.
This is dedicated to the ones who became inspired and who brushed this off.
This is dedicated to us all.

If you know someone who can relate to this or needs something to aid their evolution send it to them.