This Side Up

I've been suffering from writer's block/laze as of late. For the last couple weeks as I've been transitioning from few hours to none to unemployment I've been struggling to write a piece on how albums can be translated into five seasons, little theory I thought of months ago that I've been trying to coherently put out there to the masses to possibly turn them on to a new way to think about music in a collective fashion. Now with something this abstract it does require a heightened degree of focus as you're trying to pull references in order to make your point and also the structure of where to take it is also quite tricky. In conversation I'd have no problem delivering it as I have reactions to go off of and also the thought is fluid as you are talking about it so there's not as much criticism and editing involved to make sure that everything makes sense. As of now I'm currently shelving the idea for perhaps an abstract art/video piece to better get the idea across and play around in the sandbox a bit. However this is not what I wanted to talk about for this piece, what I really wanted to write about is simply nothing. Let my conscious mind wander through my fingers to the keyboard and onto the screen so that something eventually make sense. And also to get that stupid voice in my head to shut the fuck up.
I'll elaborate so you don't think I'm totally crazy. (Too late.) One of my favorite movies is "Revolver" by Guy Ritchie and if nobody here has seen it you should. Think of it as "The Godfather" version of "Inception." Not knocking the movie just trying to give you a rough idea. At any rate, the movie is about a con man, Jake Green (played by Jason Statham WITH HAIR. WHAT?!,) who is released from prison after seven years and sets out to get revenge on the man who put him there only to find myself in the middle of a game beyond his comprehension. Now this movie plays heavy with abstracts as it deals heavily with the mind and all the psychological theories that pertain to it, specifically the concept that is the ego. Without hopefully spoiling anything there is a pivotal moment where Statham's character must confront his true enemy which is his ego, represented by the narrative we hear throughout the movie. At the credits several psychologists speak into the camera about the concept of the ego saying how it hides behind itself so that you don't even know it's there and that it disguises it's thoughts as yours, basically saying how that voice in your head is not truly your own. And truly anyone outside the mind you perceive to be an enemy is a false projection by the ego in an effort to further disguise itself. ("The only enemy to ever exist is an eternal one.") A very huge and elaborate concept that I think is very profound and very good to know as if there is any truth to life it is that we are constantly trying to avoid something in ourselves that is an issue by casting a light on something that doesn't matter. (Politics, money, material possessions, etc.) My writer's block/laze I believe is a current manifestation of something wrong since for the last month I've been pissed off about my lousy job and blaming the corporation for it. Not unsound but the toll that it's taken carrying around that baggage sure as hell isn't healthy physically or mentally, partially why for the last week or so I've been slumming rather than busting my ass to find another job or accomplishing any of what I've been wanting to. This is my confrontation of my ego as I'm typing, going head to head with it saying how I don't need it right now. Several months ago for almost three weeks that voice didn't exist and came up in the middle of the week my lady flew up fro California as I had done/said something stupid so my ego popped up and said, "Hey buddy, what's up? Vacation over already? Time for me to fuck some shit up." And since then it's been a tight rope of trying to lose the ego and him scratching that itch in my head. I won't promise to myself that from now I'm gonna ditch the ego and change my situation cause if I can't keep that promise for whatever reason I am to blame which only feeds the ego and that does nobody any good, but you can bet your ass I'm gonna do everything I can until the battery dies out in my ego's mic.
One thing I plan to do is revisit a script that I aim to get made for which I won't talk too much about at this point but it does involve dealing with confronting yourself with a problem that has been slowly manifesting to the point where you get consumed. And that is very essentially, not anyone forcing or helping you to confront yourself, only you can do it. There may be outside influences to bring yourself to do it but ultimately it comes down to you, your actions, your thoughts, to determine the outcome. Anyone who thinks they can change a person or truly help them is diluted because you're not the one who is truly making them change. Irrelevant the issue, it all comes down to you and your choice to recognize it and do something. This is also a problem, either not recognizing it or not acknowledging it which if you don't does no good what so ever.
And sadly such a thing has left me with a sense of hopelessness as I, like many of you I assume, have some friends who are in need of some kind of awakening but we're not the ones to give it to them, they have to get themselves to wake up. The trick is finding a way to get them to realize this in a way that they are willing to listen, get them inspired to change themselves because if you supply the right stimuli anyone can handle themselves. This will be my effort, to tell a story in which others can relate to and have a possible moment of clarity. Now I don't wanna get my hopes up in thinking everyone will walk away from it thinking this, at most I just want them to dig the film I've made and if they can take the message with them and pass it along then rock on to them. However this is a consciousness to what I do and what I want to do that I would like others to at least say, "Hey, not bad," if nothing else. But as I said, it all comes down to my choice and thoughts so let's let the reigns loose and see where this ride will take us.

The Path Of Nothing

Acknowledge a fault within one's self

Confront that fault

Admit to yourself that even by confrontation you have no control

Admit that no one person has control over anything or any one

Upon all of this think of the path up ahead as an endless spiral

Not bad, eh? Sorry if any of my grammar sucks.

Apologies to the four of you who follow this and/or Stumble on this blog and are upset (What a stretch) because of my lack of updates. ADD and a lack of finances definitely shift your priorities. Here is a collection of stuff for both Tweaker Tuesday and Weird Wednesdays. Hit the jump for another teaser poster and an episode of Kevin Pollak's Chat Show featuring Jason Alexander where he talks about "Seinfeld" and fucking up a guy who put a gun to his head.

Cleverbot - Feel like aruging with a bot that actually has a degree of intelligence as opposed to the ones trying to get you to join cam sites? Look no further. I'm gonna hunt this mo'fo down.

Melon Shot Off Freddie Wong's Head W/ a .50 Cal - Pure fucking insanity. A bullet a half an inch thick flying over a hundred feet and didn't blow off a limb? WHAT?!